


acting a little longer

by infelphira



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, inigo is trans but maybe owain is trans too, uhhh god just something self indulgent let me rest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 11:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7100473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infelphira/pseuds/infelphira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every day was a battle with more than the Risen and the hurts of his childhood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	acting a little longer

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't proofread this. just something short and self indulgent. i want my kids to have a good day.

Inigo hated mirrors. 

He tried really hard to act like he didn’t. No good womanizer would be caught dead not fussing over his looks. On good days, he could primp his hair and check for blemishes. On bad days, the sight of himself made him feel so utterly revolted. 

Eyelashes too long, face too round in places, too soft, not defined enough, too feminine. He’d squeeze his eyes shut and try to remember how to breathe and try to not even think about the body under his clothes. 

On good days he remembered to act the only way he knew, the only way he thought boys could act. Fussing over girls, trying to be the manliest he could be, the toughest fighter. Each rejection didn’t hurt quite so much as the implication in the back of his mind that somehow, he just wasn’t man enough. 

Every day was a battle with more than the Risen and the hurts of his childhood. 

Somehow, though. There was always a light in the darkness.

Inigo rarely thought about why Owain just seemed so radiant. Like the sun in the sky, like a warm spring day spent sleeping in the grass. Nothing seemed to get him down, he was born in a body that didn’t endlessly haunt him, he was born with the spirit to act regardless of what others thought of him. 

He was so jealous of Owain. He was so hard on Owain.

He hated every single mean thing he ever said to the person who tried so hard to be his friend. Inigo hated lashing out like this. Yet, somehow, even when Owain seemed hurt, even when it seemed Inigo had finally crossed the line too far, even when it seemed they had finally been broken apart, Owain always came back. He always had something new to say, or do. He always supported Inigo with his characteristic eagerness. 

Inigo shouldn’t have been surprised when he realized just how much he loved Owain. That’s what it meant, he figured, when he always found his mind wandering to how their fingers would fit together, or what Owain’s eyelashes might look like up close, or how he might kiss, or how soft his lips seemed. It would probably be strange, as just friends, to view someone that way.

Really, speaking from the heart shouldn’t be so difficult. Gods, how could he do it? He was well-practiced at acting. Gods only knew that he acted out some elaborate, sick play every day of his life.  
Perhaps, acting just a little longer, for something that truly mattered, would help him say the words caught in his chest.

The next time Owain came around, shouting about rivalries and special attacks, Inigo took a deep breath. He turned around, as dramatically as he could manage with a racing heart and sweaty palms, and pointed at Owain.  
“All right, my rival! I hope you’ve shown up today prepared for my ultimate move!”

The way Owain’s face lit up made Inigo’s heart flutter. He looked so happy that, for once, rather than fighting tooth and nail, Inigo was, instead, doing his best to speak his language.  
“My ultimate move is–“ He paused briefly, having not actually thought of a name for the ultimate move, “Ultra… Heartthrob Love Confession!”

He wanted to be stricken down by lightning on the spot. The excited look on Owain’s face had become one of deep confusion. Inigo was trying not to cry, and could feel his face scrunching up.

“Owain… I really, truly love you.” His fists were clenching, he was trying not to dig crescents into his palms. “I… gods, this isn’t a game. I love you so much.” His vision was blurry from the tears– anxiety, fear of rejection, fear in general– but he could vaguely see Owain’s sunny yellow shape moving closer. Then, he was being hugged.

“Marvelous technique, Inigo!” When Owain let go, Inigo sniffed and wiped his eyes. Owain was beaming, like the sun. Like his own, personal sun. What a soft look on such a goofy smile, he found himself thinking. “Your confession has been heard an acknowledged!” 

Ah, Inigo thought. He recognized that look on Owain’s face.

“I, too, have found myself in love with you. No games, no playing.”

It was the look he had when he was speaking seriously.


End file.
